cameroon log

That damned road

Saturday and Sunday November 29-30th 2003

I returned to Lomié…barely. Saturday morning bright and early, I left Santa Barbara in Youndé… after a brief negotiation with a cab driver for a private cab… I get to the bus station… which is generous. It is basically a patch of dirt where the van’s stop, lock and load. I got my ticket, and sat my stuff down. I was pretty burdened with paper and other junk I got in Yaoundé. Apparently Saturday before the first of the month, no one travels. Pay day is Monday. So a long and slow 3 1/2 hours later, the bus is ready to go. We head off to Among M’bang. It takes us 4 very dusty, and very bumpy hours. I, of course, didn’t bring water or food… and for some incomprehensible reason didn’t bother to get either while at the bus station before leaving. I was assuming that I would have a few hours in Among M’bang to kill, and I would eat and drink there. We get there at almost 3:30 pm. I get off, and ask about busses to Lomié. The last one is out there on the street doing its final loading before leaving. I haul ass over there, negotiate my seat (paid a premium… well, 2$ more…) and my bags.. and squeeze in just as the driver was yelling to leave. Everyone moans.. cause I am a big guy… We are totally overloaded. Totally. We head off. The sides of the bus start to buckle outwards… making very loud groaning noises. I’m sure we aren’t going to make it. We get about 20 minutes out of town.. and we get stopped by the cops. Well, one cop. The other was sitting in his car… a beat up old mercedes, with sheepskin seat covers… doors open, music blaring… hand down his pants. We get the usual hassle (the first cop we saw out of town took a quick bribe, so we barely even had to stop), but a simple bribe isn’t going to do it. Apparently we have moonshine on board… and we are all accused of trafficing intoxicants. 45 minutes of slow menacing bribery later.. we head off again. The kicker here is that the building right off the side of the road is… a moonshine bar. Nice. So we trundle off.. very very slowly. The welded metal bars that have been added to help support the weight of cargo are starting to bend. I used my hand to measure the bowing that was going on.. almost 3 inches outward every bump and ditch. 3 inches each side. That means the sides of the van were bowing outwards almost a half a foot each time we bumped. Several times I heard very loud cracking sounds. Some I could identify as the welds giving way, and other times.. I was sure I was going to die. The good news (sort of) is that we were so overloaded, the driver could only manage to do about 15 miles an hour. The road was abismal. Ruts that I swear you needed to repel down. 5 hours later we make it to Mindouru. That is the half way point. It is now very dark. We pause for a bit. I get a little food, very little. I have a splitting headache from the gas fumes that seem to be seeping up through the floor, and being squashed between 4 other people in our row. Oh, but there is hope.. two people are getting off here. Nope. No. False hope. We take on two more, both with cargo. After an ugly packing job, we set off again. Two hours into the last leg, a 4X4 passes us. The road is blocked up ahead. We will have none of that. We press on. Another hour, and no blocked road. Maybe the obstacle has been cleared. Another 45 minutes later, and out of the darkness we see a Grumier pulled off by the side of the road. OK, We pass another.. and another. Finally, we see a Grumier in the middle of the road, facing us. Now we see what the problem is. He was heading up the hill, and stopped. Once these trucks stop, they can’t start again unless the road is dry… otherwise they slip all over the place, and spill their loads. We sit and ponder if there is room to squeeze by on either side, when word comes down that there is another truck behind this one. A long discussion ensues. We are going to try… the deciding factor was watching a 4X4 go off road, and make it past. I suggest that we unload the van before attempting it, as the sides are a bit muddy. Oh no.. we’ll just plow on through. The van gets about half way before it gets stuck about 2 feet deep in mud. Now we begin to try to push the car out of the mud. The driver floors it everytime we get any traction.. and sinks us in deeper. Any discussion of physics is useless. Why would he not accelerate, it is only making things easier.. and what do I know, stupid white man. So, I stop pushing… and considering that I am about 80 pounds heavier than most of the pasangers.. it is a big difference. Finally, I suggest, from the sidelines, that they take the load off of the top. It is now around 11 pm. My head hurts something fierce… mosquitoes abound. The sky, however is magnificient. We unload the roof. There were half a dozen large barrels of whiskey.. each weighing probably 150 pounds… a bunch of other heavy stuff, and then.. here is the kicker… about 15 boxes of scrap metal. Each box weighing at least 100 pounds. No fucking wonder the sides were bowing. At this point, I just sit back and take it easy, as some of the men start to dig the van out of the mud… shovel.. vroom…move forward 6 inches, move 6 inches down, shovel, vroom.. you ge the idea. At around 12:30 there were cheer of triumph. The van was freed from its viscous prison… there were many self congatulatory remarks… “see what the black man can do when we all work together”… was my favorite. I mean the irony is just… well, stunning. So we spend 20 minutes loading up the van, with all the impossibly heavy cargo, get in, and away we go… for 10 minutes. The van breaks down. The co-pilot gets to work… he pulls up a panel, and starts messing with wires and belts by flashlight… while we all sit in the car. The smell of gas is now overhwelming. I am getting lightheaded, with is only a slight relief from the pain. Vrooom… the van works again. Cheers from everyone… and away we…no. No. The van breaks down after 5 minutes. The driver wants us all to stay in the car, but a few of us don’t comply. I sit outside, on the damp road and stare at the sky for about 20 minutes while the van is getting re-fixed. When it was all done, we headed off again… driving very very slowly. At 3:30 in the morning we get to Lomié. I have not eaten or had anything to drink the whole way. I stagger home, and fall asleep.. for a few hours. The last thing I remember from the day.. was the Osama Bin Laden sticker on the back of the van.
I spend all of Sunday recovering… playing my new Game Boy Advance games. So, thanks fo Gwinn, Tomas, and Forest, I have enough games to keep everyone happy. Tony Hawk is a big hit with the locals.. although they call it a skiing game.. and from where they are coming from.. it may as well be… It is 8 hours to the nearest paved road, let alone enough to skateboard on. They also like MarioKart.. but Metroid is still the reigning game. From my end, I got two turn based strategy games: Fire Emblem, and Final Fantasy Tactics. Fire Emblem is a great game… good balance, enough depth to keep it interesting, and the interface is very easy. The swords and sorcery stuff doesn’t really do a whole lot for me.. I mean, I like it..but in and of itself.. it just.. well, doesn’t send me. Final Fantasy Tactics, however, is a fantastic game. Wow. Steep learning curve, complicated interface, and also a swords and sorcery fantasy..but wow. Great gameplay. I am really enjoying the process of managing my ‘clan’.. I have almost 20 characters to manage, and I need to change their jobs, and equipment regularly… keeping an eye on balanced skill development. Some of it complex enough that I actually have to take a few notes to remember what is going on.. but I think that has more to do with the Mefloquine than the game. I also really like the story. No, seriously… it borrows heavily from ‘never ending story’ and other –kids get sucked into a fantasy world stories.. but there is a creepy subtext that I like… and it isn’t accidental. So it totally makes the swords and sorcery stuff work for me. I just needed that other layer to make it work. The best part about the game: I will be working on it for a long time. I mean, I finished advance wars 2 in a week. This game actually has me looking forward to playing again, as I don’t know what is going to happen.. and depending on my mood, I can manage, fight, or get into the story. And that is this weeks edition of GBA game reviews from Lomié. Tune in next week when I try to explain what an “Ollie” is to Petit.
One last note: kitty is missing. It seems that everytime I leave, she goes missing.. although this is a bit more worrysome as she has already been missing for a few days.